Friendship Breakups Hurt Too: Coping with the Loss
When we think of heartbreak, we tend to think of it in a romantic sense. The heartache, the tears, reminiscing on old memories and wondering if things could’ve ended differently.
Friendship breakups can bring on intense emotions, similar to that of a romantic breakup (sometimes even worse).
Without realizing it, many of us overlook that friendships are just as important as romantic relationships. We build long lasting connections with individuals over the span of many months or years, experience the most amazing memories and are frequently vulnerable with our friends.
Our friends see us during our best and worst times. They're at our bridal showers, weathered being broke at university together and celebrate us on that job promotion.
For some people, friends are like "choosing your own family”. These are deep relationships that bring us immense joy, safety and companionship.
So losing a close friend, especially one you envisioned in your life forever can leave you feeling devastated. All the memories made and now you can’t say acknowledge the person you once called your “bestie” in public again.
Friendship breakups can happen for a mirage of reasons- betrayal, lack of communication, lifestyle changes where you’re not able to accommodate this friendship again.
Sometimes, people just grow apart- a slow fade away in different directions, reaching the point where no more calls or texts are coming through.
Either way, it’s generally a tough process when dealing with the loss of a friend.
We don’t see friendship loss portrayed in the movies nearly as much as romantic relationships.
We live in a society where romantic relationships are often prioritized as a goal to reach. Therefore, people tend to put more effort in maintaining these relationships. But if we take a step back we would easily see that our friends pour so much life into us, validate us and comfort us- key things we tend to seek in romantic relationships
Friendship and romantic heartbreak often feel the same:
Missing them at random moments. “Oh Chidera would’ve loved this movie”
Feeling physical discomfort when you see them in public or in photos- a tight chest, sweaty palms or even feeling your heart in your throat.
Thinking about how you’d never get to know their “future-self” or create more experiences.
Feeling like you might not find someone you share such a strong bond with.
Often, friendship breakups don’t come with closure. One day you’re laughing together, and the next you’re blocked. That unexpectedness can leave you questioning everything; your worth, your choices, the genuinity of the bond. It’s confusing to lose someone who wasn’t “supposed” to leave.
Coping With the Loss
Acknowledge it’s real grief. Don’t minimize your pain just because it wasn’t romantic.
Allow yourself to feel. Cry if you need to, journal your memories, talk to someone who understands.
Don’t erase them, but make space for new things. It’s okay to keep their photo or memory alive, while also creating room for new connections.
Trust that the bond mattered. Even if it ended, it shaped you, taught you lessons and was very real. That doesn’t disappear.
Friendship breakups show us that strong bonds can be made outside of the romantic space. Our friends can show up for us in ways that even our family members cannot. So it’s important to grieve what we lost, cherish the positive memories and stay open to new friendships the future can bring
Friendship breakups often hurt just as much as romantic heartbreak but we rarely talk about them. The loss of a best friend can leave you grieving memories, milestones, and a bond you thought would last forever. In this blog, we explore why friendship heartbreak runs so deep and share compassionate ways to cope, heal, and stay open to new connections.
References:
Relationship dissolution in the friendships of emerging adults ( H Khullar 2021)
What Happens in the Brain After a Friendship Breakup (Mejia 2025)