The Therapy Myths That Keep People From Getting Help

There are many reasons people don't go to therapy.

Sometimes, it's the cost. Sometimes, it's access. Sometimes, you simply aren't ready. But sometimes, the biggest barrier is a belief.

“My problems aren't serious enough.”

“I should be able to handle this myself.”

“Therapy is only for people who are mentally ill.”

“What if the therapist judges me?”

“I tried talking to people before and it didn't help.”

These beliefs can sound reasonable, especially when you've heard them repeatedly. But they can also keep you from getting support that could genuinely help.

Let's talk about some of the most common ones.

“Therapy Is Only for People With Serious Mental Health Problems.”

This is probably one of the biggest misconceptions about therapy. But the reality is, you don't have to be in crisis to seek support.

People come to therapy for many different reasons. You might be struggling with anxiety, low mood, grief, relationship difficulties, work stress, self-esteem, boundaries, family dynamics, life transitions, or simply feeling stuck.

Therapy can also be a space to understand yourself better, develop healthier coping strategies, and work through patterns before they become more disruptive to your life.

You can seek therapy because something is difficult, not only because something is unbearable.

“My Problems Aren't Bad Enough.”

This one sounds like:

“Other people have it worse.”

“I'm still functioning.”

“I can still go to work.”

“It's not that serious.”

But struggling doesn't become valid only when your life completely falls apart. You can be functioning and still be struggling. You can have a good life on paper and still feel unhappy, disconnected, anxious, or exhausted.

Comparing your experience to someone else's doesn't make your own experience disappear.

“I Should Be Able to Handle This Myself.”

Being independent can be a strength. But sometimes, independence becomes a belief that needing anyone is a weakness.

You might be used to solving your own problems, being the reliable one, or being the person everyone else comes to when they need help.

So when you need support yourself, asking for it can feel uncomfortable. But therapy isn't a sign that you've failed at handling your life. It can simply mean you're choosing not to carry everything by yourself.

“Talking to a Friend Is Basically the Same Thing.”

Now, a good conversation with someone you trust can be incredibly helpful. Friends can listen, comfort you, encourage you, and remind you that you're not alone.

But therapy is different.

A therapist is trained to help you explore patterns, emotions, behaviours and experiences in a structured and confidential setting. Therapy isn't simply about having someone tell you what they think you should do.

It's about creating space to understand what's happening, explore what may be contributing to it, and work towards meaningful change.

You don't necessarily have to choose between your friends and therapy. Sometimes, you need both.

“The Therapist Will Judge Me.”

You might be thinking:

“What if I tell them what I've actually done?”

“What if they think I'm a bad person?”

“What if they think my problems are ridiculous?”

It makes sense to feel nervous about being vulnerable with someone you've never met before.

But therapy is designed to be a space where you can talk about difficult experiences, thoughts, emotions and behaviours without having to perform a version of yourself that feels more acceptable.

That doesn't mean therapists will automatically agree with everything you do. It means the goal is to understand what is happening and work with you, rather than shame you for being human.

“I Tried Therapy Once. It Didn't Work.”

One difficult therapy experience doesn't necessarily mean therapy itself doesn't work for you.

The therapeutic relationship matters. So does the type of therapy, the concerns you're working on, your readiness, and whether the approach feels appropriate for what you need.

It can take time to find the right fit. You are also allowed to tell your therapist when something isn't working.

Therapy is not supposed to be a situation where you silently endure an experience that doesn't feel useful.

“I Don't Know What to Talk About.”

You don't need to prepare a presentation before your first session. You don't need to know the exact reason you're struggling. You don't even need to know whether what you're experiencing is “important enough.”

You can start with:

“I don't really know where to begin.”

Or:

“I just haven't felt like myself lately.”

Or:

“There are a few things going on and I don't know how they're connected.”

That's enough. Therapy is a collaborative process. Part of therapy is figuring things out together.

“I Should Wait Until I'm Ready.”

Sometimes, waiting until you're ready makes sense. But sometimes, “I'm not ready” becomes another way of saying:

“I'm scared.”

“I don't know what to expect.”

“I don't want to admit that I need help.”

“I don't know what will happen if I actually talk about this.”

But you don't have to feel completely confident before you reach out.

So, What If You Recognised Yourself Here?

Maybe you've been using one of these beliefs to explain why you haven't started therapy. But you don't need a perfect reason to ask for support.

Going to therapy means you're experiencing something you want to understand, work through, or change.

If you've been considering therapy, you can start by learning more about your options and deciding what feels right for you.

You don't have to wait until you're at your breaking point to begin taking yourself seriously.

Ready to start? Fill out our onboarding form.

References

• American Psychological Association. (n.d.). Psychotherapy. APA Dictionary of Psychology.

• American Psychological Association. (2019). Understanding psychotherapy and how it works. Monitor on Psychology, 50(1).

• National Institute of Mental Health. (n.d.). Psychotherapies. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

• National Institute for Health and Care Excellence. (2022). Depression in adults: treatment and management (NG222). NICE.

• Norcross, J. C., & Lambert, M. J. (2019). Psychotherapy relationships that work III. Psychotherapy, 56(4), 423–430.

• Wampold, B. E., & Imel, Z. E. (2015). The Great Psychotherapy Debate: The Evidence for What Makes Psychotherapy Work (2nd ed.). Routledge.